3 hours of concentration

(photos will be uploaded here soon, they're on fb btw)

I had a nice talk with steph in school today, then came the sudden determination to really study hard for the Reexam. I know people say its easy to pass it, but I'm doing all these and starting early just to prove to myself I can actually concentrate.


I wrote some stuff on my econs textbook cause
they were really important stuff & I don't want to forget them, EVER.


" I've made a mistake in the past. I always say 'I want to change, I MUST change', but deep down inside I'm actually thinking 'What If I don't? what if I can't?'. That thought must be the biggest obstacle for me, that's why the change never happened. That was a mistake because I wasn't sure of myself, and I didn't have the determination to make sure I'd REALLY change.

Now that I've realised my mistake;

I WILL concentrate from now on, force myself if I have to.
I WILL be disciplined enough to make up for my past mistakes.
I WILL change for the better and not live with regrets.


I'll improve bit by bit, starting slowly but surely. I won't ever say "what if..." or "but I can't!" ever again, because I WILL be able to concentrate, and I WILL be able to study during the holidays. This won't be like the past.

This isn't just any of those silly posts from the past where I only speak but don't act. In fact, I'm doing a pretty good job right now. Its my first step... yes!



So I'm studying for the Re exam right now. I'm not sure if I'll pass because I really haven't been touching maths at all the whole year, but I AM TRYING, and I know I'm not wasting time. Time won't be wasted even if I study hard and don't pass the Reexam for maths.

Because there is no such thing as time wasted. Everything happens for a reason. Every little thing you do will contribute to your present or future in one way or another.


Yes, I've made a mistakes in the past. Loads of mistakes in fact. But that only brought me further, it taught me other things in life. Even if I do get retained, it won't be a waste of time for I now know what my weaknesses are and I will find ways to improve.

That is why I WILL definitely change and there ain't gonna be any doubts about it. If I pass my Reexam, I'll most probably choose to be advanced because I know I MUST, and I will work hard during the holidays to catch up with my work.




Concentration wasn't my only problem

I used to not try my best because I was afraid of failing. That way, I could tell myself and others that I'm obviously capable of doing more and my failures come only because I haven't tried.

I guess I wasn't too sure of my capabilities and was very afraid of disappointing myself. I was afraid my work wouldn't be perfect even if I tried my best, and that should mean I'm stupid, have no talent and will never ever excel.

So I stopped trying. Ever since secondary 3 or something. Not trying my best was a really good excuse cause it allowed me to be lazy and not face any failures at the same time. Such a coward.

You see, even if I were to fail, it wouldn't seem like a failure because it wasn't my best and well... there's definitely room for improvement but that wouldn't mean I can't do anything. Funny, how should not trying my best NOT be the biggest failure?



That. That is a really stupid mentality. I don't know where that came from, this is the first time I've searched myself and discovered this.

What am I capable of? I really don't know because I stopped trying for many years. Seriously Emma, what on earth are you capable of?! Nothing? Something? Alot?"







.. that's where I stopped writing and did econs for almost 3 hours straight.

Hah, i just wanted to share my joy.

Its so distracting here, I ended up doing nothing after I reached home. Maybe i should get out of the house and study tomorrow.

Happy Commendation day!

Didn't take any with a few I wanted a photo with, I guess there's still school :/ This feels like last year. Examinations a week after graduation.

Pardon me, I'm lazy to do cropping for the pictures although most of them are in serious need of cropping jobs.






































Grabbed some waffles & otah before band briefing. They gave out best individual & section attendance PLUS worst attendance and late coming HAHAHA.

Emo-ed alone at the squash court for an hour or so before Ivan, Jeremy and Steph were back from their consultations and lessons. We actually got the back of the LT4 but the Student Council needed it to practice their dance so we got chased away and studied in a classroom.

Ms Ong had a nice little chat with us for two hours or so, she's really nice to talk to!



Hah I don't have much to say for now.

Promotional Examination Results

Lucky for me (or maybe not so), they lowered the criteria for Reexam.

I don't know if I'll even pass the subjects I failed (cause I have been completely ignoring them for the whole of year, touching econs only a little while before that. how silly.). But I'll try. Exam days would be on 16,17 and 18 for me.


Even if I pass, I might not choose to be advanced. My foundation's far too weak.

If I have enough determination to study during the holidays to prepare myself for JC2 (IF I even pass the Reexam in the first place), I'll opt for advancement.



Yeah that's about it.

For now, I'm not J1 nor J2. J1.5 maybe? haha.

Remember, remember the fifth of November

The gunpowder treason and plot.
I know of no reason
Why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

Caught V for Vendetta in school today during free period! Definitely didn't disappoint me, though the video did. Audio was lagging behind by 11 seconds so I had to pay very close attention to every single visual detail to match the laggy audio.



Julie London - Cry me a River



There were so many quotes I loved, I actually typed them out in my sms drafts.



Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici
By the power of truth I, while living, have conquered the universe



V: Your own father said that artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie, but because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.
Evey: No...
V: What was true in that cell is just as true now. What you felt in there has nothing to do with me.
Evey: I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE!
V: Don't run from it, Evey. You've been running all your life.
Evey: [gasping] I can't... can't breathe... Asthma... When I was little... [collapses while V catches her]
V: Listen to me, Evey. This may be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it. They took your parents from you. They took your brother from you. They put you in a cell and took everything they could take except your life. And you believed that was all there was, didn't you? The only thing you had left was your life, but it wasn't, was it?
Evey: Oh... please...
V: You found something else. In that cell, you found something that mattered more to you than life. Because when they threatened to kill you unless you gave them what they wanted... you told them you'd rather die. You faced your death, Evey. You were calm. You were still. Try to feel now what you felt then.




Evey: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey: Oh, right.



(I wish I could speak like V!)



Well anyway, everybody I know who watched this movie liked the ending, which was this:


Ending for V for Vendetta



Sadly, I didn't get to appreciate it because the audio was LAGGING BY 11 SECONDS so the music wasn't really in sync with the explosions. Ah, at least I get to appreciate it now with much thanks you youtube.




Goodness, its time for bed.

So much more I need to say.

but its 10 minutes to bed and no more, no less. GOODNIGHT, GOODNIGHT. Shall listen to Cry me a river to sleep :D

The Greatest Thing Youll Ever Learn Is Just To Love,
And Be Loved In Return

^ probably the most used quote from the film


Watching Moulin Rouge in school was my best decision of the day. The school isn't a very nice place to watch these emotional films cause you'll hold back your tears and the environment isn't quiet enough to let you be totally immersed in the film, but I still enjoyed it alot.


Ewan Mcgregor and Nicole Kidman were fantastic in the film. He's got this amazing voice and the most beautiful pair of eyes (ahh how charming) and of course Nicole Kidman is gorgeous. What else?

The last musical film I watched was probably Phantom of the Opera last year? I'm going to rewatch it soon. (both POTO and this) At home. The soundtrack is spectacular, no doubt.

Moulin Rouge - your song

How wonderful life is now you're in the world




Christian & Satine - Elephant Love Medley

I like his confidence here :D



Christian & Satine - Come what may

How can anybody not fall in love after listening to him repeating the lines "come what may, come what may"?



Moulin Rouge - Come what may (final scene)

Come what may, I will love you, until my dying day



Yeah maybe there'll be more to write after I watch it another time :D So in love with the movie, the songs, the plot and the actors (and their voices). I'm really considering watching Phantom of the Opera for the IDKth time after the short list I came up with yesterday.



Time for an episode of ONE PIECE (I wonder if that anime craze of mine will come back after 3 long years)! V for Vendetta shall be played during the free period tomorrow :)

NEW PAIR OF AUDIO TECHNICA CK7!!

This is such a good reason for me to get an iTouch how the hell can I enjoy just 700 songs with them right?! I can't get the right fit yet but I'm sure it'll do just fine. Ah yes finally, after so many months of using the lousy iPod earphones (shit, I can't even remember which one I was using before they died on me and had to use the ipod ones).

Damn, they sound so much better when plugged into my speakers :O

Its the silver one btw, and I'm satisfied! :D No, more than satisfied it makes listening to music so much more enjoyable haha.


Now if you would excuse me, I'm gonna try out different genres now. whooohahahaha.

Halfway through Catch me if you can, what should I catch next?!

Prolly all the well-rated movies I haven't watched in the past.

But I really think they should put in much less sexual scenes in movies. First of all, all three movies I watched these two days have them and dammit, it makes me nervous for them cause it'd be gross for somebody to barge in during their "activity". Grosses me out thankyou?



Catch me if you can just gets better towards the end :D


TTFN.

Highlights of the day:

(this post is mostly in chronological order)

1) completed nike human race in 1hr19min
(it was too congested and I didn't really bother to cut much)

Met Nat at 5:35 to get to cityhall and we reached at 6:05 am zomg! Jeremy Tingfong and Serene came soon enough so we set off to the destination (near Singapore flyer) along with the whole army of red ants, haha. We kinda lost J after the 3rd km so I ran with Nat throughout! We really hate the portion near the Singapore indoor stadium cause it seemed neverending. oh, 100plus is the best drink ever.

I think the 6th - 7th km didn't feel too great too but we kinda ran on the paths with less people so it was at least a little better. It was fun observing the other runners at the U-turn areas :P


But seriously, I didn't feel as happy/accomplished after running the 10 km as compared to will run (which was 14 km in about the same timing cause there was enough running space in school)... because it isn't our first time completing 10 km. I'm sure all SRJC-ians feel the same eh :D No kick ah, 10 km.

800+ students (or so i heard) in our school signed up for the race so we won in the school category for having the most number of students crossing the finishing line, and we're gonna be featured in some nike in-store campaign! The live bands performing were far too noisy though.


There were photographers too but somehow I didn't feel too high.

Nonetheless, it was a great experience to be a part of this huge run. Think I'll be joining again next year!



I brought my camera but didn't take photos cause.... I guess I wasn't too comfortable in a group with people I didn't know too well. Plus I was kinda shy to ask other people too, how strange.



2) ate at marina square and played taptap while the rest slept.

We were supposed to head back to Tampines since he's got PW later in the day and I had nobody else to go with, but we kinda bumped into Jeremy and his (their) classmates Keith & Derek so we had lunch at foodcourt since the other restaurants were full.

We kinda just sat there and I played Taptap revenge 3 while some of 'em slept. It felt like 4pm even though it was just 11am then cause we were so exhausted! Strange enough, I had energy to last me throughout the rest of the day! Movie timings weren't right so we went around the mall.



OHYESOHYES. the S7 peeps were at ben&jerry's machine (I don't know how to explain it, its something like those toy-clamping machines) and they won a cup of it! Nat and I tried too and HAHAHA WE GOT A CUP OF IT SO I WENT HIGH AND HIGH AND HIGH even though I wasn't the one who pressed the button HAHA.

I guess I didn't take notice of my surroundings again at the point again and felt kinda bad after that and ... yeah. Thoughts to myself for now.



3) went to the arcade!

Next stop was the arcade where I played Daytona and Time crisis. I SUCK AT DRIVING I SUCK AT DRIVING HAHAHAHA. Lets see, the first time I put in the coins, I didn't press the start button with the rest and ended up playing on my own.

On the second round, I accidentally stepped on the BOTH the brake and gas pedal so it was going real slow for awhile HAHAHA WTH. The car kept crashing into stuff or driving onto the grass. I obviously got owned and my ass kicked but it was fun seeing Ivan, Ken and Nat trying to own each other LOL. I feel so dumb and stupid for that but its still so fun I feel like trying again soon HAHAHA.

Then I had a round of time crisis 3 with Ivan and I don't really know what I was doing either HAHA. But hey it felt so freaking great to shoot at those people poompoompoom!! I realised I can't even aim properly but still managed to shoot the people somehow. Tyco! Or maybe it was cause I spent alot of time dodging LOL. GREAT NOW I FEEL LIKE PLAYING THE GAME AGAIN.

then we...



4) watched the movie "the blue mansion"

with I,N,J,D,K. It wasn't bad, in fact I kind of liked it. Not a bad one for a local production though it might be better off as a play instead of a movie. Some scenes were quite well shot and the music's not bad. There was Bach's Air in G string!! (Like, the classical song I've always loved) & so I JUST heard from my brother that the director/film is quite well known overseas too.



5) Am going to watch music and lyrics cause I have the DVD and I feel like watching it right nao.

(I'm halfway through it! How greatly inspiring, off to the piano I go! edit: and its done! This is what a good movie does to you, that was a great time I had in front of the piano.)


One more thing, I think I'm terribly charmed by men with wise words, a great sense of humour (those with actual quality in them and not those dirty ones) and people who write/play music. This might just be my first time falling so in love with a character in a movie!


Hugh Grant - Don't write me off

It was so touching when he composed "don't write me off" and sang it at the concert, cause you could tell the lyrics don't fit as well but he's still trying hard to compose just for the girl.



Also, Hayley Bennett (Cora in the movie) must be the prettiest and cutest girl I've seen since Ashley (Sarah Roemer) in Disturbia. No wait, the latter's hot but Hayley Bennett just looks so innocent and I think she has that.. poise. Goodness I can watch her sing the whole day.


Anyway, it spoke to me in many ways. Its a little difficult to put them in words here, but many scenes in it felt so special to me.

Happy Birthday to my dearest friend Annia

Went out with Annia Kaiying Anna Ashley Siyun for dinner at Plaza Singapura's Ichiban Sushi to celebrate Annia's birthday! We got her really lame gifts :P

Rotted alot in school today especially before cca, I was bored to death but my classmates and I ended up playing with the camera and complaining about our very wonderful cher. Goodness it drives me up the wall. All of us, in fact.


Alrighty its 12:04 I'm supposed to be asleep by now cause I've got to wake up at 4 plus tomorrow to catch the 5:30 mrt! I CANNOT WAIT!



Harvest Moon makes me sleepy, its time to switch off the lights and leave the speaker on :D

to some in 1A07

Syairahhh! Hello my dearest art buddy, I'll really miss you alot and I'm so sorry I made things kinda emotional today! Its as if nobody could understand us but we could, cause those feelings felt so real ): But seriously, I'll miss you alot but lets be there to cheer each other on when we have our own coursework and deadlines and prep boards and all kay!

I'll miss freaking out with you in class, sms-ing you about all the art homework, sitting next to you during SOVA, going out with you guys for art stuff (and doing crazy things while running across the road), rushing essays with you, hugging you, camwhoring with you, talking about food, telling you about my little secrets with you at the cafe, having free periods and staying in school till night!

Thanks for cheering me on too, and I hope there's still a little chance for me to get advanced! Hehe. Goodness I'm really not looking forward to another year of art w/o you and all our freaking out moments!! ):


Annisaa! I've said alot to you in school and I think we share the same feelings, and I really hope you're fine! I wish I could do more this afternoon and I hope you're fine. Feel free to call me or talk to me whenever you're feeling troubled (not just about the results stuff but others too eh!) Stay strong anis!! I really hope we'll be in the same class next year if we do get.. :/ This is abit short but that's cause I've already talked to you recently! :D



Glenda & Yiting I don't suppose you'll be reading my blog but to you guys.. we'll be in this together too! haha :D

I jogged 5km just now! (rightfully speaking its roughly 4.8km but I think one round is slightly more than 400 m anyway)

Haven't ran since willrun (in august) and Nike Human race is on Saturday, so this makes today's jog my first and last training session before the 10km run, hmm.

I managed to get a shirt tagged S. Hurray!

Random

Dinner with the girls at Seoul garden/Sakae tomorrow for end-of-exams celebrations as always! Seoul brings back great memories :D

DINNER GOT CANCELLED ): (postponed, rather :D)

Does anybody remember how I used to emo cause nobody wanted to sit on the same table as me cause I LOVED throwing all sorts of disgusting stuff in HAHA. Its a miracle how you girls were able to stand me then, come to think of it. Emoshit to the max LOL!!!



PW in school for the whole of today (I went late cause there weren't lessons for me in the morning) plus band in the afternoon till evening!

I swear I was bored to hell while waiting for cca to start, partly because the canteen doesn't make me feel good AND.. Pw can be sucha a bore. But well, I shouldn't be complaining now! We're almost done and its time for OP whatthehell hahaha.

OHBTW somebody told me the XS would fit me for the nike human race shirt cause she said the sizes are BIG... and now I've got this tiny & very tight shirt ZOMG.



Choral music fits my current mood.

&.. I. want. my. art. paper/grade. NOW! ):

And so it is, just like you said it would be

As predicted, I cried.

I wasn't planning to until my teacher had to say something. -_- Well I guess I'm not the only one stuck in this situation and yes, I'm feeling very sad. As simple as it can get.



Seriously speaking, I don't care so much about how embarrassing it'll be for me to be retained, nor do I have much pressure to do well or anything. (though I think I'd need that to do better next year and to discipline myself)

I fear having to lose the people close to me. Im' afraid I won't be able to keep in contact with my friends (SRJC or those from AHS) since they'd be in uni when I'm having my A's, and we won't be able to study together or idk what. WELL IDK WHAT.




Jeslin, thanks so much for the heart-to-heart talk and for your support and all. I'm glad I managed to say whatever I wanted to, it really cleared alot of doubts/troubles/worries in me. I'm sure you know how thankful I am so I'm keeping it short and sweet. :D (You know i've got alot to tell you and I really love you dearest girl!)

Kaiying and Ashley, thanks for calling me to bakerzin the cakes were awesomeshitz :D Guess its always nice to be able to meet up with your mates after school! Blueberrycheesecakes (L)!




That's about it for today.

I'm retaining. (not 100 percent but close to that)

HAD AN AWESOME AWESOME DAY AT THE MUSEUM TODAY!!!

:D :D :D :D :D :D

(who the hell said museums are boring? hahaha)

There are many many exhibits stuck in my mind now,

especially the ones at 8Q (the contemporary art museum), the red one from the Anthony Poon exhibition in S.A.M, some from the National Museum of Singapore and ahhhhh.

I REALLY LOVE MUSEUMS!



Cannot get the images from 8Q installations outta my mind, there was one like the chronicles of narnia; we walked into a cupboard, through a white alley, a passageway with A4 sized paper stuck everywhere leading to a GREY ROOM.

Everything in the grey room was GREY. and you know what's cool about it?? the TV, sofa, tissue box and some stuff were sliced into half and stuck to the side of the walls. And the TV was still playing. Then moment we discovered that the clock was going ANTICLOCKWISE, the tv suddenly stopped playing and I kinda.. screamed. Freaky experience but VERY memorable. Like I'll EVER forget that place.

No photo can convey the feeling it gave, the experience is key to this installation.



and there was a BLACK room, totally dark with jet black walls & we couldn't even see where the end of the room was. the only source of light were those shining on a display of transparent glass bottles.



here are a few photos:

(this is way cool, wait till you see the one with me NEXT to it.
Yes, RIGHT AT THE TOP)


An artwork from member of the public
the artist invited us to paste our works on the walls
(through a note)


viewer discretion adviced.
This encourages active participation on our part.


a portion of a painting.


another one of those audience works.

I'm kinda amused by how the "exit" sign is covering her boobs...
o_O sigh the reflection

this is a portion of a painting


Really love this water colour piece alot.

Gosh, I don't know how to put it, it was just an amazing experience.


Well. back to PW for now. Have to hand it in tmr.

and no, I'm not feeling too nervous about getting back our results tomorrow, today's trip kinda made me forget alot about it and..

Idk. I feel numb.

Maybe its cause I don't want to think about it at all. NO ENTRY

If you need something lighthearted

(credits to yahui for these videos again)

Need I say more? :D
CUTE!! I'll make my baby do that in the future! HAHA.



why the wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger

:O try it!




Who says men can't multitask?

HAHAHAHA! I don't know why but I THINK I've seen this before?



Funny photobooth pranks by jay leno

This one's from Ivan some time ago AND I'M STILL LAUGHING AT ALL THE PHOTOBOOTH PRANKS HAHA (Y) Just watch everything!




Photobooth prank

another one I just found HAHA.



and another one!! HAHAHAHAH





sorry about the STILL unedited picnic post.

I realised I haven't uploaded pictures from my birthday, last day of promos and steph's birthday OOPS. and my birthday was... 4 plus months ago. Aite I'll upload yesterday's photos asap!

My heart is drenched in wine, but you'll be on my mind

Norah Jones - Don't know why (live)


Been listenin' to Norah Jones lately, how do I describe her voice? Soothing and angellic. (L) & what a gorgeous lady.

Seriously, Jazz/blues forever. You'll never get tired of them. I wonder how I'll ever survive without music? I'll count those that always get stuck in my mind :D



Norah Jones - Thinking about you

They used to play this on MTV all the time back in Secondary 3! I used to have the album too, but it magically disappeared when I tried to look for it :O

& I think the album cover's been on the display wall (if that's what you call it) at citylink mall's HMV for quite some time?

Anyway, she's gonna release her new album, The Fall, soon! :D




Norah Jones - Come away with me (live)

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me





It doesn't matter how many times I emphasize on this (:


I'm imagining myself in a cafe by the roadside in England,
eating scones and sipping a cup of English tea.
(wouldn't mind Norah Jones in a bar/lounge too)

With a pen and a sketchbook,
or maybe a storybook.


Been my dream since forever.
Two or three years seem like forever, at least.

I don't know if you call this obsession,
(refer to some posts I made last year 'bout wanting to travel)

but its a dream, a wish your heart makes
when you're fast asleep.


Can't find any picture that matches the image in my mind,
so I'll save the descriptions for the next time :D




For now, I wouldn't mind lying in that pavillion yesterday
in the night (or perhaps early in the morning),

that's what I call life.

(still under editing, photos on facebook if you're interested)

3 Reasons to make me smile


1) PICNIC-ed with kaikai & Riane at Keppelbay/Marina Barrage
2) Bought new tops at Vivo
3) Loads of photos

(FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!)


(was supposed to look like a mermaid!!)


(we spent quite some time sleeping there 8D)


(the view I got while lying down. Yes I rotated it!)

Please wait patiently while I upload the rest of the photos.

HELLO KAIKAI & RIANE I HAD LOADS OF FUN TODAY LETS DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME!!! :D :D :D

be right back? haha.

Hello my dearest xuanee (though I think you might not be reading this by the time I post this up. I'm hoping you will haha), ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR O'LEVELS!! I see you've been working hard and I'm sure you'll do well for it! JIAYOU ALL THE WAY FOR THE REMAINING 9 DAYS YOU CAN DO IT!!!! Love, mama :D


I've got scratch marks/wounds on my knees (with the blood clots)! Shan't tell you the story here it basically involves fence-climbing. okay shush, no more info I'll tell you if you wanna know. BUT GOSH IT FELT SO GREAT, I DON'T MIND THE WOUNDS ON MY KNEES WHOO. :D


ohyeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH!! (though you wouldn't be reading this) I accidentally wished her HAPPY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY via sms today wth! So its true my brain is dead HAHAH.

We went out to get her present at 1 but I had to go back for the SRGCE meeting at 2. Basically sat there and learnt some basic Japanese terms. At least I got to skip abit of cca haha. CCA ended early so we got the band to sing a birthday song for Steph and we brought in the cake!! Celebrated the next 4 hours in the canteen and that involved a LITTLE bit of caking and... and...

ipodtouch fiesta yo HAHAH. Steph and I went totally crazy playing tap tap revenge, shaking the thing all around and all. I totally lost track of how many hours that was, but it was so freaking entertaining! Think we screamed like two crazy idiots in the canteen man (Y). After Ivan's ipodtouch ran out of batt (Emily was playing her ragdoll game on Jeremy's one), we moved on to need for speed on my phone but my phone died soon. :(



Damn I'm not in the mood to update now, PICNIC WITH KAIKAI RIANE CINDY TOMORROW!! I better sleep soon haha :D

Fact 101:

I dislike taking initiative and I procrastinate.

10:43 am, its time to leave the house soon. After my lunch.

Hello, little black book

While flipping through that little black book of mine (with a very pathetic amount of entries), the events of the entire year flashed before my eyes.

I've come a long way, I have. The last entry in my diary was written on 2nd dec, 2008 where I was still fooling around after O's, worrying about my results but having nothing in mind. At that time, I thought I'd end up in TPJC (and was depressed enough about this). Its only been less than a year. & now I look back at it - I'm in SRJC with new friends and something else to worry about. My results and the other regrets, again. Its really great I enjoy some of my new company, but I do miss my secondary school friends alot.

I've changed alot throughout the course of this year. Everything around me has changed drastically. Life's been pretty great from this moment's point of view, and I'm trying hard to ignore those negative feelings I had at the start of the year.

There's also other stuff I think about all the time, but I guess its something more personal. I don't think I'm in the mood to really pen down all my thoughts in that black book, maybe just a brief update about life.


Its so interesting how humans can have so many ways to express themselves: diaries, blogs, talking to friends/family. Reflection, having conversations with myself sometimes and pretend I'm writing a letter to someone about my deeper thoughts but not actually addressing it. I don't know if that's called 'expressing myself', but I'm sure it makes me feel good. It sorts things out, but when that doesn't work, I'll do the ones in the first sentence. I really blog a hell lot don't I.



Where should I start?

this post doesn't need a title

Our group got pangsehed by our PW teacher today, so we ended up playing games and listening to music during the consultation slot. Unblock me is addictive, and I don't understand why level 38 can't be solved, so I went on and I'm at 50 now. How many more puzzles to go? a few hundred? HAHA.



Talking about Ipod touch-es, I should totally get one for the Japan trip! Just that I'm not too sure how much I can get by the end of the year. You know what's fascinating?

WE'RE TAKING THE SINGAPORE AIRLINES AIRBUS A380 TO JAPAN!!!!! (just departure flight) But holeymoley that is some awesome stuff! I can't believe I paid 200 bucks for an entire trip plus a chance to sit on the A380. Please can I have a peek at the first class seats?! I won't mind having meetings three times a week OR doing the memento!

the trip's from 9 dec to 16 dec and we'll be having band festival from 16 dec to 20 dec if I'm not wrong, that makes me a busy person doesn't it.




Either way, I can't freaking wait.

The few of us in class have been talking about getting retained during lunch breaks, free periods and what not. It reminded me about the first few months in SRJC, which wasn't good at all. It was the period of time where I cried to my mom about school alot, somehow I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one feeling like that back then.

Think I'm beginning to miss my class. Not just the individuals but as a class I guess? I'm just so used to us hanging out in different groups everyday, anyway. At least there isn't a person in the class I feel awkward around and we pretty much mix around due to our VERY mixed up combination. We're gonna see a big change next year.




Its 12:20am now and my eyes are still pretty tired even though I just woke up. (fell asleep right after dinner) So I'm off to bathe pretty soon since there's school tomorrow, which is a bloody waste of time. I wonder what my teacher would say to me after discovering my blank maths paper?

OP presentation skills lecture was rather useful today, can somebody tell me what's our group number/code. Praying hard we won't be the group to stay from morning to the afternoon just to sit through a few presentations!

You know, something happened today and I would be jumping around like a madwoman in the past, but I didn't feel anything towards the situation then. I guess that's great.. or maybe not, since there are other reasons that lead to that.

Just in case I forget about it, its been recorded in my private written diary (which I seldom update cause I normally prefer typing), and I'm going to record all the other happenings for the past few weeks and all. Reminder to self. haha.


Anyhow, it deserves at least three smiley faces:

:D , :D , :D!


Oh yeah, I collected my spectacles today! They're a little big.

Here are a few photos I found today (tumblr) and I didn't insert them in between the paragraphs cause they're completely irrelevant to my posts. Like 'em quite alot.

:)/:D

Hello you, thanks so much for listening to me rant all the time, and for sharing those thoughts too! I really appreciate it.

My headache is finally gone after such a long time though my eyes still hurt.
I hope the headache won't be back to haunt me tomorrow.




Its 2:44 am now and I'd like all of you to listen to this!

Olivia Ong - L.O.V.E

I've posted this a few weeks ago, but it suits my mood right now!



Olivia Ong - First of may

My dad used to sing this song when i was young.

Downloaded all the Olivia Ong albums yesterday, love her voice and musical style!

Heh, I love the darkness even more.
Complete with the dimmed lights when I'm not asleep.

give it a break

At times, I think I'm better off alone. At other times, I don't think I can survive without talking to anybody. In the mood for the second one right now, and I wished I never got high in school today.

My head hurts alot. My eyes hurt alot too, they're totally red now.

Took panadol this morning so I don't think I should take another one now. But damn, it hurts. It hurts bloody much.


I am not pee-am-ass-ing.

Why do I feel so uneasy and squirmy?! Man it feels as though I've blown everything over. Maybe i should shut up and not talk at all! Damn it I can't get too much work done like that.



School was fantastic, really. Yeah really. 7am to 6pm just for 1 hour of PW and 2.5 hours of CCA! I only read half a page of my book and spent the time talking to people/being crazy. Btw, only 9 people turned up for assembly in our class today. BEST.

Been so long since I touched the flute (well, just yesterday but that was the first time in a month or so), and I must say warming up helps alot. That was a random point, but yesh.


Jeslin and I ate at a shop selling traditionally baked bread before band (Idk what differences there are, but the loaves of bread look so soft and delicious!) I ordered a bowl of curry and bread while Jeslin had her french toast, both awesome. & i think she might be running with me for nike human race though she's not joining!! :D



Drew this on C's phone. More like really random scribbles, and I'm lazy to crop out the bottom (the toolbar was blocking it).

The joy of making abstract/accidental art after I've discovered Jackson Pollock. Okay, I guess I'm not really making a piece of Pollock since I didn't have any thoughts/feelings or a plan in mind when I did this so I have no right to call this a Pollock imitation, but well.. just about the kind of art any being can create with a sense of satisfaction. The sense of joy and satisfaction is what makes art great right?

Though I'm not too happy with some of the black lines. & the bottom, of course.




Gonna read my novel after editing some PW stuff.

Noooo I was supposed to go back to school at 4:30pm now its changed to 6:30am cause we've got PW at 12. WTHH. There goes my wonderful plans for the morning/afternoon.


Just received an email from nikehumanrace10k2009. The route's gonna be a beautiful one and I can't wait! Haven't ran in a while, maybe I should start training a little bit. The only problem now is - who am i going to run with? Jeslin isn't going for this one and the majority of my classmates aren't going either.

Hmm

Love of my life, can't you see?

Queen - Love of my life (with the piano)



Queen - Love of my life (live with the guitar at Wembley, 1986)


It was kinda heartwarming when he got the audiences to sing. Freddie Mercury's voice is so amazing! Yes, I am in love with this song. So in love that its been put on repeat. Over & over again.

Love of my life, you hurt me,
You broken my heart, now you leave me.

Love of my life cant you see,
Bring it back bring it back,
Dont take it away from me,
Because you dont know what it means to me.

Love of my life dont leave me,
Youve stolen my love now desert me,

Love of my life cant you see,
Bring it back bring it back,
Dont take it away from me,
Because you dont know what it means to me.

You will remember when this is blown over,
And everythings all by the way,
When I grow older,
I will be there by your side,
To remind how I still love you
I still love you.

Hurry back hurry back,
Please bring it back home to me,
Because you dont know what it means to me.

Love of my life,
Love of my life.

This is exciting

This is exciting. I'm starting on a new crime thriller novel, "panic" by Jeff abbott! (syairah is reading "fear").

I hope it'll be as great as the other crime thrillers I've read in the past (a very long time ago). Nora Roberts (J.D Robb) still relatively new and untouched. There are at least 30 new books that I've not read, most of which come from the whole lot that I bought in hongkong last year.


Click for last year's December & January Archives for a picture of the 15 english novels I bought in a single day HAHA. Maybe it isn't alot to you, but it is to me!

& since my blog is relatively boring now, its time you read my archives. The amount of stuff I bought was so crazy! (8th january) and all the pictures of the food.. Damnit I feel like a no-lifer right now. Need to go shopping!

(DAMN IT I MISS HONGKONG SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!!! The food, my relatives, shopping (with kaikai), shiok projector screen at home, ultra fast internet connection, shopping, sightseeing ... I'm only going back next May for my cousin's wedding D:)

My sister's keeper doesn't interest me FOR NOW. I'll get back to it after this book I guess. Shall add more autobiographies, biographies, inspirational books and those interesting psychology ones to my list. No chick lit thanks. This should make my holidays more fruitful than cyber stalking people/friends. LOL.


Eyes hurt a whole freaking hell lot, maybe its a good thing my Codec isn't working, cause I can't watch FRIENDS now ):

Yeah baby I'm home at 1:30 because PW got cancelled.

So I went to school just for two hours of lessons how dumb is that? Anyway, that's fine cause I got to play on Annisaa's Itouch again and there's TapTapRevenge3/Unblock me! Geetha, Wilson and I did really stupid stuff while waiting for the watch to read 12:30. HAHA.



Shall reply to tags since I'm in the mood.

Sorry I haven't been replying for more than a month?! I still check my tagboard everyday! There isn't too much of a point to reply to such overdue tags but I shan't procrastinate any longerrrrr.

I know its :( to not get any replies after tagging so I'll make it a point to reply asap after this big batch!




8 oct
peixuan: hey mama! yay your promos are over!!! i really can't wait for o levels to be over. oh man. D:
{YES FINALLY!! and your O's are drawing nearer!! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!! yeah it'll be over in a jiffy, the next few months would be like heavennnnn. Read all the replies k!!}

4 oct
Kenneth: or something like that. lol
Kenneth: Atticus Finch : "You never really know a man until you climb into his shoes walk around in it"
{That's a really good phrase and yeah I remember reading it! Learning to do that! :D I wanna read TKMB again!}

ashley: love asher book meet up after promos okk !
{yeah i love try, ordinary people and someone to watch over me!! YEAH we haven't really met up, tell me when you're free kkkkk!}

2 oct
peixuan: oh yay good you have one more paper to go! then after that can rest a bit. hee. JIAYOU KAY!
{I'm resting alot now HAHA JIAYOU AGAIN HEHE. Gosh my eyes hurt alot from looking at the computer day and night :O}

30 sep
Ivan: Stalker!
{hahahah look who's talking! Though I'm the ultimate one of course /^^(Y) I know you're stalking now aren't you?! HAHA}

29 sep
YINGZHI: heyy emma promos suck I KNOWWWWW sheesh lol
{sucked to the coreeeeeee. How was yours?? I feel so dead man D: Goodluck for the results anyway!!!}

27 sep
anis: jia you emma!! ;DDDDDD
{thanks anis!! Please revive your blog!! ): I wanna read it! and I thanks for lending me your ipodtouch heehe ITS SO ADDICTIVE!}

25 sep
peixuan: hey mama jiayou for your promos aye!
{haha thanks again!! Gosh I need to see you soon after your O's k!!}

23 sep
syairah: i'll disappear from the surface of the earth along with you! (:
{hey I wanted to reply "awww!" when I first saw that message that's so sweet haha! SYAI I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU IN AGES! I still miss that day btw :D}

21 sep
peixuan: hey mama! all the best for your promos aye! 2 more days right? JIAYOU! ^^
{XUANEEEE I just realised you tag me really really really often haha this is like my idk-th time saying thanks haha. I PICKED UP THE GUITAR YESTERDAY. But I think I need you to teach me when you're free! :O}

20 sep
ken: you know emms i realised my mum and your mum both have something in common- our dads are working overseas.
{did you read the post with your name! and yeah, pretty much stuck at home alone and I miss my dad! :(}

18 sep
peixuan: the going home video was very touching! and my eyes got a bit watery towards the end. heh. the grandma so nice leh.
{yeah it was, wasn't it! :( Yup it was so touching towards the ending, suddenly felt like calling my grandma that day after watching but I didn't know how to :O}

16 sep
yahui: i cried for the grandma video as well!!!! and im amazed that you dared to watched ryan video! thought you might found it scary.
yahui: oh! i dun mind yousharing the videos!
yahui: im so glad you have a blessed blisfful family and you are one little girl that i believe honour her words! thanks for your txtbook!
{haha nope I didn't find it scary but the condition is so scary! Just randomly found out its Harlequin type Ichtyosis, D: and they're really good videos haha. you're welcome, don't stress yourself too much with the tuition okay! Hope to see you soon we shall eat my brother's cooking the next time we meet!}

15 sep
FELICIALIM: EMMAbanana, i miss you:( have not seen you for so long
{FELICIAberrycia!! Yeah its been REALLY ages!! almost a year?! :O help me say hi to momo! Sleepy says hi too :D}

14 sep
ray: HEY COOLYO, PERFECTIONISTS (:
{ray!! gosh I haven't seen YOU in ages too! Man, but I don't wanna be sucha a great perfectionist I never get things done!!!!}

13 sep
anna: omg you watched signs too!!! it's so sweet right!!! i was like awww when i watched it!
{YEAH ITS SUCH A SWEET VIDEO RIGHT!! I wish I could do that do can, LOL. I need to watch more videos and dramas now yayyy}

12 sep
YINGZHI: HELLO EMMA! your posts are not boring ok laa!
{HELLO YINGZHI!! lol, cause there were a lack of pictures thennn. btw your blog always makes me hungry!!! :P}

10 sep
ray: ANNIA'S HOUSE IS IN ORCHARD? O:
{YEAH COOL RIGHT!!}

9 sep
syairah: eh emmy, i miss the time where we ran across the road, cursing and screaming! although yes, you did most of it. hahahaha.
{LETS RUN ACROSS THE ROAD AGAIN AND SCREAM AND CURSE LIKE MAD!! gosh I feel like going crazy all of a sudden. I really hope you'll be my art mate again next year ):}

7 sep
kaiying: dw girl i still love you the same! <33 style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">{I know you might not be reading this since its your promos, BUT JIAYOU GIRL!!! I'll talk to you again after your promos! I still love you as much as ever!}

peixuan: hey jiayou kay! you can do it! i have faith that you will pass promo
{Now I feel bad that you said that ohmannnnnnn. Howww}

5 sep
yahui: hey emma. see ya tomorrow! im relinked at onsugar.com.
{hahaha okay you're relinked! :D}

4 sep
peixuan: haha. the macdelivery is super cool! ^^ haha. i also want to lie under the stars! heh. okay. good that your sch's subsidising a lot. unlike ahs. DX heh. okay jiayou for promos! ^^ GOGOGO!
{yeah it is, isn't it!! OKAY LETS LIE UNDER THE STARS AFTER YOUR O'S K!! yeah I was so shocked when I saw the amount!! and yes we should really lie under the stars together!}

3 sep
ray: I WANT FRIES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TOO. ):
{HAHA. COOL RIGHT. Maybe you'll get flowers next time hehe}

1 sep
anna: hahaha yah! i have no idea why i keep getting lost! haha srsly missed you ok and your bed is just so comfortable :D
{HAHA I just realised I'm like too ohmyyyy. Man didn't get to talk much to you on saturday and... I... haven't...replied...to...your...email! JIAYOU with your PW then we'll have time after that! :D and yeah i lovelovelove my bed too HAHA}

30 aug
ashley: HAHA you can paint out my face then post the pic ;D and ur painting is so pretty la! seriously!
{omg my painting is stuck on the wall. For like idk how long. :O I'll try to paint a nicer one next time I'm just ignoring it everytime I walk past it now HAHA!}




HAVE A NICE DAY!

Time for sleeping + FRIENDS.